Monday, March 7, 2016

It's been a while....

I wanted to start this post with my intention. I am not writing this to make anyone feel guilty or bad because we have different beliefs and desires for our families, I hope just the opposite, that we can feel unity in our differences and embrace each other unique ways of seeing and fulfilling dreams.
I started this blog sometime ago to record my thoughts and experiences to help others who need connection with a likeminded person like me. Health, adoption, self reliance have been a few things I have touched on previously. I'm not exactly sure why I am publicly journaling again, but nonetheless, I feel inspired to do so and to be inspired by writing it.
Our family has taken on new adventures in living the life we love. We started homeschooling, raising chickens, training our beloved dogs and growth on many levels. 
Homeschooling was a big step for our family and blessing to say the least. It's been everything I never knew I wanted. The progress I have made personally could not have been made any other way. For the first time in my life I can say that I love reading now. My children are best friends (yes they still fight), yes I still have bad days, but I love what we are creating together! especially at this young very influential time in their lives.  I felt like I was drowning by choice. So I decided to change it and live the life I love. I loved my personal time when the kids went off to school, I loved seeing my kids earn awards and the associations with others at the school, but something wasn't sitting well in my mind and heart. My kids came home completely exhausted, they felt entitled to TV and relaxation until they needed to do homework and sports. No time together to be outside, no time to create or serve, no time to play and work together. I felt like a slave to my family, trying so hard to create a beautiful life for them. But I was miserable and so were they.
It's hard to get out of the mindset that I need to push my kids to love learning and all the competitiveness, but it's about quality not quantity, which in this day and age is really hard to not feel peer pressure about especially as a responsible parent you want them to be their best. How about family work, being a good friend, building character, learning to cook, helping with younger siblings, slowing down to smell the roses, picnics, exposure to great mentors, riding bikes in the middle of the
day, time to make their own songs on the piano, free thinkers (this what my daughter said) and serving the community and family.
Well, it hasn't come easy and with God I have prayed for his companionship to inspire my everyday. I would completely fail if I didn't have HIM to turn to. I remember those first, very overwhelming days  and weeks, of homeschooling. I went up to my room in complete tears wondering if I really made the right decision, I prayed and cried. The lord prompted this thought that became more profound as I pondered on its meaning.....he said "you are their soul teacher" I said I know, I feel so alone and how can I possibly be "it." Then it hit me like a dagger in my chest, "I am their soul teacher." More than math, reading and writing, I get to teach them about the things of the heart...the soul, things that really matter. I get to have spontaneous teaching moments and to dig a little deeper to see if I am the example I want my children to duplicate. That was a real kicker right there, was I the example I wanted my children to become? I think I have changed more than my children and this journey has been as much for me.
The 2 comment I get most often is that "they could never have the patience to homeschool" and that "they could not do what there teachers do." Well...... I would not consider myself a patient person, but I do consider myself to be someone that will do what I need to for success. I am also not trying to duplicate school at home. I wanted something different, so I'm taking a different approach. I love learning "other ways" to do things and allowing the possibilities that resonate in my heart but didn't know existed.  Oh yes, how could I forget the infamous socialization question.....we are very social, we do participate in a homeschooling group that meets often without demanding an absorbent amount  of time. This has been a great addition to our homeschooling experience.
I could go on about my experiences and thoughts, but I will save them for another day. Here's to you and living the life you love however you dream that to be. 

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